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#1 Lancelot

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Posted 22 August 2019 - 10:51 PM

Hurt my arm this morning and had to go to hospital for an x-ray, as I was sitting waiting to be seen, the lad next to me said
 
" Fair fae yer honest sonsieface! Great chieftain o' the puddin race!!"
 
I was thinking eh?!?!.
 
I turned my head round to the the lady sat on my other side,
she said, "Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!".
 
I said to the next doctor walking past , "Here mate, is this the psychiatric ward?"
He said .......
 
"No sorry this is the Burns unit"

 


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#2 discv

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Posted 23 August 2019 - 10:17 AM

Well it's better than the tourette 'joke' that was picked as a winner at Edinburgh!


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#3 Ozzie

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Posted 24 August 2019 - 07:02 AM


Wassa ee zayin ? Whirrs ee to ?

ee gotta be vrom Scotland . ooh ar

down yer in Zomerset we speaks proper like

#4 granpa

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Posted 24 August 2019 - 11:30 AM

We have proper Queens English here, queens from every continent


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#5 Lancelot

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    Lancelot the Beak now with a Kia Venga petrol Auto Type 3.

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Posted 25 August 2019 - 10:46 PM

Queens?  Do you mean fairies?


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#6 Avon

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Posted 21 November 2019 - 06:48 PM

Driving by Regents Park the sat nav kept saying 'Bear left', 'Bear left'.

 

I then realised I was passing London Zoo.


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#7 granpa

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Posted 06 December 2019 - 09:21 PM

On the subject of Hospitals and the like, I have heard that diarrhea is an inherited complaint, something about it running in ones genes



#8 Lancelot

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    Lancelot the Beak now with a Kia Venga petrol Auto Type 3.

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Posted 06 December 2019 - 10:07 PM

Not one of my normal messages . Bit more serious . If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, I need to borrow some chairs.


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The retired Beak with a 2ltr Petrol, Exclusive, Automatic, Picasso.
Arctic Steel - of course!